Nightmare interview

So, my last interview was like no other. Lol. It was the craziest interview I had ever been to. 

I won't mention the company but here was what happened. I got there at 9:30 (30 mins earlier than the scheduled time). Upon arrival, I waited with what seemed like 28 other job seekers. This was stage 2 of their 5-stage interview. Is that crazy or what? 

I wasn't interviewed till about 4:30pm. Yea, I was there for that long. Our names were not in any particular order but my luck is not the brightest and so I was part of the bottom 5 interviewees. 

When I got in, they asked me to come in and shut the door and I did. They took a little long to ask me to sit so I asked "may I sit?" And they said it was alright for me to sit. It was a man and a woman. Dude asked me "what do we call you?" As I have 2 names on my résumé and I said "either name is alright." Then he said "madam, I asked for your name" then I said I was sorry and I stated my full name. He then asked again, "what do we call u for this interview?" Then I went with my first name. The interview began. 

Dude asked if I was honest, I said yes, he asked if I lie and I said not pathologically and he said if I lie, then I'm not honest. He asked for an achievement and a challenge I faced and I stated them and he said he didn't think my achievements or challenges were achievements or challenges. He asked if I was polite and I said yes and he said "I beg of differ." I was like "really?" (raising an eyebrow). Let's just say the interview was more of an interrogation as if he was tryna prove to me that I was guilty of not being a good and humble person. 

When the fight was over and he asked if I had any questions, I said "yes, actually, I do." (If you know me well, you know I wouldn't have left there without finding out what was up his ass that had him all stuck up and shit). So I asked "Did you already have it in for me before I got here? Why are you so aggressive? Your interviewing style is like an attack, is it personal?" Then he said "let me rephrase, do you have any official question for me?" Then I insisted he answered me, official or not, so we got unofficial. He proceeded to tell me that I didn't wait for him to ask me to sit down. In my head, I was like "seriously?" Then he said me telling him to call me either name as opposed to stating a name could be considered rude by some people. Mind you, this is not my first interview and I always give the interviewers a choice and they go with the name the prefer from my résumé. Even after I said my first name was alright for the interview, his colleague still chose to call me by my other name so I was confused about where I got rude. Half the time, his colleague was confused and shocked by his responses but she tried not to be against him. At a point, I even thought they were playing. 'Good cop, bad cop' lol. They weren't. 

Anyways, he obviously just wasn't feeling me and that happens. He's allowed to not feel me but if they were all like him, they would lose good candidates for the positions they are hiring for. I can't lie, he threw me off my game and I totally flopped the interview cuz I was shocked and disoriented. You don't dispute people's achievements, challenges and creative work. You can judge them by their responses but it's never your place to tell them otherwise especially during an interview. But hey, what do I know? 

On the other hand.... I got a job! 

~kdamsel~

Job Searching

I passed out of NYSC about a month ago. I have been back to Lagos since then. Upon my return, I have written a couple of aptitude tests for a few companies. For those who don't know, when you apply to an entry evel position with most companies, if not all, you are required to write an aptitude test. Those who are successful at this level move on to the interview stage and so on...

Now, I've written about 5-7 or so and the formats for these tests vary. They usually comprise of verbal reasoning, quantitative/qualitative reasoning and current affairs/general knowledge questions. Some require you to write essays, usually nothing too lengthy. They are always timed, which makes it a bit more challenging. 

Needless to say that some are easier than others. For example, Shell and Unilever tests I wrote online were disastrous. I found them ridiculously difficult. They were like proper math questions, some of which I could solve the amateur way, which would take me longer than the allocated 30-45 seconds per questions. 

I don't know if others agree but these tests are probably the worst ways to decide who to employ. Just because you cannot pass these tests doesn't mean you don't have the qualities needed to succeed at the position. The tests usually don't even mimic the position you are applying for. I mean, you are applying for an entry level Human Resources position and you have to pass GMATS math questions, it's like "what da f$&k?!" Once you fail, you cannot re-write for another 6 - 12 months. But I get why this is the procedure. We are toooo many in Nigeria and when an opportunity comes up, I can imagine how many qualified applicants each company would have. They can't possibly interview every single individual, as such, this is an effective way to shortlist. 

The companies I've tested for are as follows:

Shell - failed 

Cadbury - no communication after the test

GT Bank - Passed but I heard they will take a very long time to start interviews and what not

Mansard Insurance - Passed but still waiting for an interview

GT Homes - Passed & interviewed but still waiting 

Unilever - Failed

(An organization I won't mention) - Passed & interviewed but still waiting 

Skye Bank - Wrote it a couple of days ago. Still waiting for results. 

The recruitment processes is just a drag. They take so long at times that you forget you had any encounter with the company.  

I'm still thankful anyhow cuz some people haven't even had the opportunity to test or interview for any company since we passed out of NYSC and on the other hand, some people already had jobs waiting for them before NYSC was over. The story of life. 

I'm just praying to start something shortly cuz sitting on the couch and not hating Mondays or TGIFing is getting boring.

~kdamsel~

A year later

It was a year I landed in Nigeria a week ago. The 2nd of November, 2012. This is the longest I have been in Nigeria in the past 15 years. Many people are wondering if I am going back to Toronto but these are people who obviously don't understand my mission in life. Others are asking why I haven't gone on a vacation since NYSC was over and I say to them...."what am I vacationing for? I don't have a job or any money to come back to. I go on a vacay now and I return to sitting on my couch watching Boardwalk Empire and all that good shit." Some people are even still wondering why the hell I moved back to Nigeria, to those people, all I have to say is "oh! get over it, it's been a freaking year."

Anyways, no regrets whatsoever! Living, loving life!

~kdamsel~